“We need to talk…”
(Cold shiver running down my spine)
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 20,30…”
(Knot in my stomach…)
More than 24 hours waiting without knowing…
The bell rings at 20,30 sharp…
20 minutes car drive in silence
(Fumbling with anti-stress ring… begging for everything to be alright)
Inside your living room…
I say “Please say something!”
(Shaking like a lonely leaf …)
You say “Everything is perfect… but I don’t love you…”
(Knife blade into my heart… twisting… deeper and deeper…)
You say… “Say something…”
(What the fuck am I supposed to say? The pain is so strong…)
“I don’t want to hurt you”…
“Too late…”
You cannot choose the way you feel… you are right…
You cannot choose…
I cannot choose either…
No choice
Can’t do anything
No magic possible, no conjuration, no spell
No nothing…
Just wait, wait, and wait
For this pain to slowly turn into something else
Something soft and tender
Cos now it’s tearing me apart…
I know you didn’t want to hurt me
But you have…
And still
The Black Keys are playing
Bringing back memories
Over and over again…
Does this help?
I don’t know…
I wish I could let go…
Just let go…
Let go…
4U
Cutting off my wings before I even try to fly…
And a slap of honesty on my face: “Everything is perfect, but I don’t love you…”
You are a wonderful person, an exceptional human being, and I am not blaming you for the pain I feel right now… On the contrary I thank you for your honesty and for you not wanting to hurt me even more…
But still… It makes me angry, at Life… I who am always positive, and who used to trust Life because she is supposed to be wise… Am angry, pissed off, infuriated… This is not fucking fair!!!
But what can I do?
Yell at you “Please love me!!!”?
I know this is not possible, I know this is not the way things work …
It makes me sad… because I didn’t see it coming… Because I thought you were feeling the same way I was… Because I opened my heart to you… Because I thought everything was just perfect…
It was not…
And it hurts, it hurts, it hurts…
Fuck!!!
I wish you the best… I hope you find the ONE that will make you feel the way you expect to feel… The way I wasn’t able to make you feel…
I know everything will be all right … I know I will be able to look at you without breaking out in tears… I know one day it won’t hurt anymore… I know I will get over this…
But till then…
Till then…
sábado, 10 de septiembre de 2011
Smile
I have never seen a smile like yours before
When you smile, you light the whole world
Your smile is like a thousand shining suns
Like golden raindrops falling on the earth
Like an infinite sparkling ocean…
It radiates Hope
It radiates Joy
It radiates Life…
Vicarious
During all my childhood and part of my adolescence I was raised among revolutionary hymns and paroles, and now that real Revolution is happening, I’m sitting at home on my couch… watching this happen over live stream…
Not fair… and what makes me feel sad about all this is that it’s all about money in the end… no money… no revolution… at least for me… no way to buy a ticket to go to Berlin or Hamburg or Düsseldorf … or even fly back to Madrid just to bathe in Revolutions waters for a moment…
Once more a clear sign that this system is completely fucked up… values distorted… tyranny of money over the aspirations and desires of a human being…
Fuck your money!
I’ve still got my heart, soul and my free mind to celebrate Revolution!
viernes, 20 de mayo de 2011
Beyond
A bond
Meant to last forever
Huge meaning
For a mind to capture
But the absolute certainty is there
Beyond space
Beyond time
Beyond here and now
You will be there…
My Blue Angel.
lunes, 25 de abril de 2011
Little Sister
My legacy for you:
I wish you love, joy and a hand full of flowers
I wish you sunlight, shinny dreams and butterflies
I wish you laughter, the silliest laughter, which is the best, right?
I wish you colorful sunsets in your soul, the soft stroking of angel feathers on your face…
I wish you find the most easy and difficult path to find…
The path back to yourself…
Little Sister, you and only you are the one who matters here…
No one will live your life for you, will love for you, will laugh for you, will feel flowers in her hands, or sunshine on her eyes, or the soft caress of angel feathers…
No one but you has got the power to make life happen…
Live
Love
Laugh
Be…
I Love You
