Choices

I told you I had chosen the hard way,
and it's damn right.
It's hard...
It's not easy to feel like this, it's not easy to project feelings
from other levels or spaces...
after all we are only human...

Not used to give up all expectations.

I thank the Universe
for blessing me
by being a part of your Path
through this space and time,
for sharing your existence...

It's hard to fight the wish to burn all bridges behind me...
This time I won't.
This time I will leap over my shadow, and choose Forever.

Losing you is not an option.

(06 Oct 2013)

miércoles, 16 de octubre de 2013

Cardio Check

Love is still here
Nostalgia haunts
Memories haunt
Feelings haunt…

Your smile…
Sometimes makes me shiver
Sometimes ties a knot in my stomach
Sometimes leaves me breathless…

There is nothing I can do
But let time pass by
Slowly…
Wrapping me up
in a soft blanket of tenderness
Sending me to the place
Where heartbreaks and pains
Are nothing but ghosts with friendly smiles…

Your name
Your presence
Your absence
The void you left…

Silently
Metamorphing
Healing…

Life has returned to me…
Life has not forsaken me…

Live…
Trust…
Love…

Despite the sadness
Despite the pain
Despite the sorrow

Everything is illuminated…

domingo, 16 de octubre de 2011

Surrender...

Frozen...
Watching Life pass by,
Hours, days, weeks...

Everbody lives on

Including you...

As if nothing had ever happened.

And I just stand here.

Paralized.

Heartbeats, breathing... Alive...
But paralized to the very core.

Trying to understand what makes no sense.
Trying to figure out what has no answer.
Trying not to love you...

Which is impossible...

domingo, 25 de septiembre de 2011

Trying

Not a very constructive or positive thing to do
When you stick to a feeling that makes you suffer…
I had no choice to decide what I would feel for you…
It just happened…

No one to blame here.

But I have the choice
To decide in which conditions I want to live…
And to shape my life and reality in a way I can love them…

So I let go… Of the Pain… I don’t want it…
Instead I choose to keep the “Thickfreakness”…
The magic, the good vibe and the laughter...

I will be fine…
I know…
Just have to let time do its thing…

I wish you fly high and reach the star you are searching for
I wish you keep on smiling upon the world
With this bright shinny wonderful smile of yours
I wish you fireworks in the heart
And butterflies in your stomach…
I wish you Love with a capital L…
May all your dreams come true…
May life be kind with you…
May all the best occur to you…

Keep on shinning!

P. S. I Love you...

domingo, 18 de septiembre de 2011

My 3 Guardian Angels

Slowly trying to get on my feet again
I stand up and everything is blurry…
Everything turns around me… and I feel dizzy…
But, I can see the light at the end
I know that sooner or later
The sun will shine upon me again…
I have 3 awesome guardian angels watching my back…
Holding my hands, and lifting me up…
One of them even with a broken wing…
But enough courage not to let me fall…
I will always be grateful for this….
Thank you so much guys…

(For Lolo, Deniz and William...)

jueves, 15 de septiembre de 2011

No choice

“We need to talk…”
(Cold shiver running down my spine)
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 20,30…”
(Knot in my stomach…)
More than 24 hours waiting without knowing…
The bell rings at 20,30 sharp…
20 minutes car drive in silence
(Fumbling with anti-stress ring… begging for everything to be alright)
Inside your living room…
I say “Please say something!”
(Shaking like a lonely leaf …)
You say “Everything is perfect… but I don’t love you…”
(Knife blade into my heart… twisting… deeper and deeper…)
You say… “Say something…”
(What the fuck am I supposed to say? The pain is so strong…)
“I don’t want to hurt you”…
“Too late…”
You cannot choose the way you feel… you are right…
You cannot choose…
I cannot choose either…

domingo, 11 de septiembre de 2011

Can’t do anything

No magic possible, no conjuration, no spell
No nothing…
Just wait, wait, and wait
For this pain to slowly turn into something else
Something soft and tender
Cos now it’s tearing me apart…
I know you didn’t want to hurt me
But you have…
And still
The Black Keys are playing
Bringing back memories
Over and over again…
Does this help?
I don’t know…
I wish I could let go…
Just let go…
Let go…